DO YOU EVER SAY ?

I Don't Want Anyone to Be Mad

I Hate Conflict

I Just Want to Keep the Peace

DO YOU EVER FEEL ?

GUILTY

because you overreacted or don't think you have the right to be hurt and angry?

STUCK

because you're not sure what to say or afraid of saying the wrong thing?

FRUSTRATED

because you don't stand up for yourself

Look at the Old

The Situation

Think of a recent situation that upset you.  Maybe your husband came home late for dinner or your teen left dishes in the sink.

The Response

What was your response at the time?  Did you:


  • Lecture
  • Yell
  • Ignore
  • Act Passive-Aggressively

The Reaction

What was their reaction to your behavior? Did they:


  • Make excuses
  • Argue
  • Deflect
  • Ignore

A Formula for Better Communication

FACTS

This is a statement about the other person's behavior.  Keep it simple and don't bring up stuff from the past.

Ex: You came home late twice this week

FEELINGS

This is a statement about how that behavior made you feel.  It's important to share because it evokes empathy. 

Ex:  When you're late, it really worries me 

FIX

Offer an alternative for the next time.

Ex:  If you're going to be more than 20 minutes late, could you please call or text?

THIS WORKS!  

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